I think I'd like to become a reality TV slut.
Why? Because Snooki, one of the stupid stars of "Jersey Shore" has recently been given a deal with Simon Schuester to publish her first novel. I can't for the life of me figure out why she can do it and I can't. I am entirely bamboozled.
To be published, you apparently have to be a whore.
What will she even write about? The day she couldn't rat her hair higher than 10 inches?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Terrible Tuesdays
Yesterday was a rough one for pretty much everyone I know.
I started the trend. The story is kind of funny now, but at the time, I was about ready to lose it. I spent my lunchtime in my car, taking a nap after a very, very long (but totally fantastic) weekend. As a little backstory, I should mention that I don't like to leave my car parked right outside of the office when I nap. There's a little group of smokers who come outside about once an hour, and I don't really care to have them peeping in my windows. So I move my car about a block away to a different parking lot. It's one I happen to enjoy quite a bit. It's shaded in the summer and somewhat secluded. So yesterday I drove my car over to my Special Napping Spot and dozed off. When my alarm went off, I threw my stuff in the front seat and got out of the car to come around to the front. Here's where things went very wrong... I locked all the doors. Yep. Definitely locked myself out of the car. Definitely had to walk back to work from my Special Napping Spot. Definitely had to call any and all friends who would have access to my spare key. Now, I don't consider myself to be a particularly paranoid person, but I do live in Tacoma. I didn't mind that I wouldn't be able to see good ol' Jonathan (my little Focus) from my office window, but I did mind that my purse was locked inside of him and thrown open, exposing my wallet and other goodies. My keys were in there, too. Anyone who was willing to break out a window would have had absolute control over my entire life. Heinous. Oh, and did I mention that I had an extra set of keys in my purse, too? That's right. I locked TWO sets of keys in my car. Doesn't get much stupider than that. I am fortunate enough to have awesome friends, so one came and saved me pretty quickly, but I was one hot mess until she got there.
A couple of my girls had it rough, too. One is the youngest cat lady I've ever met, and her little Missy had a stroke late last night and had to be put down. She came into work today in her pajamas. I'm hoping she'll be joining the rest of us back in shallow waters very soon after that dive right into the deep end. Another friend spent the better part of the night in the hospital with her mother, who is getting tested for who-knows-what.
Did I also mention that Glee last night was terrible? We all know that Britney Spears has had her on and off years, and I think the episode was filmed to reflect the crazier moments in her life. All of the most loveable characters on the show completely lost their minds last night. Thanks for setting us up for that one, Brit.
I know people say that Friday the 13th is bad, but I think from now on, I'll be replacing it with Tuesday the 28th.
I started the trend. The story is kind of funny now, but at the time, I was about ready to lose it. I spent my lunchtime in my car, taking a nap after a very, very long (but totally fantastic) weekend. As a little backstory, I should mention that I don't like to leave my car parked right outside of the office when I nap. There's a little group of smokers who come outside about once an hour, and I don't really care to have them peeping in my windows. So I move my car about a block away to a different parking lot. It's one I happen to enjoy quite a bit. It's shaded in the summer and somewhat secluded. So yesterday I drove my car over to my Special Napping Spot and dozed off. When my alarm went off, I threw my stuff in the front seat and got out of the car to come around to the front. Here's where things went very wrong... I locked all the doors. Yep. Definitely locked myself out of the car. Definitely had to walk back to work from my Special Napping Spot. Definitely had to call any and all friends who would have access to my spare key. Now, I don't consider myself to be a particularly paranoid person, but I do live in Tacoma. I didn't mind that I wouldn't be able to see good ol' Jonathan (my little Focus) from my office window, but I did mind that my purse was locked inside of him and thrown open, exposing my wallet and other goodies. My keys were in there, too. Anyone who was willing to break out a window would have had absolute control over my entire life. Heinous. Oh, and did I mention that I had an extra set of keys in my purse, too? That's right. I locked TWO sets of keys in my car. Doesn't get much stupider than that. I am fortunate enough to have awesome friends, so one came and saved me pretty quickly, but I was one hot mess until she got there.
A couple of my girls had it rough, too. One is the youngest cat lady I've ever met, and her little Missy had a stroke late last night and had to be put down. She came into work today in her pajamas. I'm hoping she'll be joining the rest of us back in shallow waters very soon after that dive right into the deep end. Another friend spent the better part of the night in the hospital with her mother, who is getting tested for who-knows-what.
Did I also mention that Glee last night was terrible? We all know that Britney Spears has had her on and off years, and I think the episode was filmed to reflect the crazier moments in her life. All of the most loveable characters on the show completely lost their minds last night. Thanks for setting us up for that one, Brit.
I know people say that Friday the 13th is bad, but I think from now on, I'll be replacing it with Tuesday the 28th.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tick Tock
My job leaves me with waaaaay too much time on my hands.
For the last 15 minutes or so, I've been spying on the guy I share an office with. He's eating a Granny Smith apple. The best part is that he forgot to take the sticker off before he started eating it. Any second, he's going to take a bite out of that little piece of plastic-y paper and glue. I.AM.RIVETTED.
It's the most exciting thing that's happened here in days. I'm literally on the edge of my seat. I've been asking myself questions like "Will he notice that he ate a sticker? Will he spit it out? Will it increase his fiber intake at all??"
These questions seem to need an answer. I feel that I MUST KNOW what will happen.
That's how dull my job is.
For the last 15 minutes or so, I've been spying on the guy I share an office with. He's eating a Granny Smith apple. The best part is that he forgot to take the sticker off before he started eating it. Any second, he's going to take a bite out of that little piece of plastic-y paper and glue. I.AM.RIVETTED.
It's the most exciting thing that's happened here in days. I'm literally on the edge of my seat. I've been asking myself questions like "Will he notice that he ate a sticker? Will he spit it out? Will it increase his fiber intake at all??"
These questions seem to need an answer. I feel that I MUST KNOW what will happen.
That's how dull my job is.
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